by John Wesley
Self confidence is the difference between feeling unstoppable and feeling scared out of your wits. Your perception of yourself has an enormous impact on how others perceive you. Perception is reality 〞 the more self confidence you have, the more likely it is you＊ll succeed.
Although many of the factors affecting self confidence are beyond your control, there are a number of things you can consciously do to build self confidence. By using these 10 strategies you can get the mental edge you need to reach your potential.
1. Dress Sharp
Although clothes don＊t make the man, they certainly affect the way he feels about himself. No one is more conscious of your physical appearance than you are. When you don＊t look good, it changes the way you carry yourself and interact with other people. Use this to your advantage by taking care of your personal appearance. In most cases, significant improvements can be made by bathing and shaving frequently, wearing clean clothes, and being cognizant of the latest styles.
This doesn＊t mean you need to spend a lot on clothes. One great rule to follow is ※spend twice as much, buy half as much§. Rather than buying a bunch of cheap clothes, buy half as many select, high quality items. In long run this decreases spending because expensive clothes wear out less easily and stay in style longer than cheap clothes. Buying less also helps reduce the clutter in your closet.
2. Walk Faster
One of the easiest ways to tell how a person feels about herself is to examine her walk. Is it slow? tired? painful? Or is it energetic and purposeful? People with confidence walk quickly. They have places to go, people to see, and important work to do. Even if you aren＊t in a hurry, you can increase your self confidence by putting some pep in your step. Walking 25% faster will make to you look and feel more important.
3. Good Posture
Similarly, the way a person carries herself tells a story. People with slumped shoulders and lethargic movements display a lack of self confidence. They aren＊t enthusiastic about what they＊re doing and they don＊t consider themselves important. By practicing good posture, you＊ll automatically feel more confident. Stand up straight, keep your head up, and make eye contact. You＊ll make a positive impression on others and instantly feel more alert and empowered.
4. Personal Commercial
One of the best ways to build confidence is listening to a motivational speech. Unfortunately, opportunities to listen to a great speaker are few and far between. You can fill this need by creating a personal commercial. Write a 30-60 second speech that highlights your strengths and goals. Then recite it in front of the mirror aloud (or inside your head if you prefer) whenever you need a confidence boost.
5. Gratitude
When you focus too much on what you want, the mind creates reasons why you can＊t have it. This leads you to dwell on your weaknesses. The best way to avoid this is consciously focusing on gratitude. Set aside time each day to mentally list everything you have to be grateful for. Recall your past successes, unique skills, loving relationships, and positive momentum. You＊ll be amazed how much you have going for you and motivated to take that next step towards success.
6. Compliment other people
When we think negatively about ourselves, we often project that feeling on to others in the form of insults and gossip. To break this cycle of negativity, get in the habit of praising other people. Refuse to engage in backstabbing gossip and make an effort to compliment those around you. In the process, you＊ll become well liked and build self confidence. By looking for the best in others, you indirectly bring out the best in yourself.
7. Sit in the front row
In schools, offices, and public assemblies around the world, people constantly strive to sit at the back of the room. Most people prefer the back because they＊re afraid of being noticed. This reflects a lack of self confidence. By deciding to sit in the front row, you can get over this irrational fear and build your self confidence. You＊ll also be more visible to the important people talking from the front of the room.
8. Speak up
During group discussions many people never speak up because they＊re afraid that people will judge them for saying something stupid. This fear isn＊t really justified. Generally, people are much more accepting than we imagine. In fact most people are dealing with the exact same fears. By making an effort to speak up at least once in every group discussion, you＊ll become a better public speaker, more confident in your own thoughts, and recognized as a leader by your peers.
9. Work out
Along the same lines as personal appearance, physical fitness has a huge effect on self confidence. If you＊re out of shape, you＊ll feel insecure, unattractive, and less energetic. By working out, you improve your physcial appearance, energize yourself, and accomplish something positive. Having the discipline to work out not only makes you feel better, it creates positive momentum that you can build on the rest of the day.
10. Focus on contribution
Too often we get caught up in our own desires. We focus too much on ourselves and not enough on the needs of other people. If you stop thinking about yourself and concentrate on the contribution you＊re making to the rest of the world, you won＊t worry as much about you own flaws. This will increase self confidence and allow you to contribute with maximum efficiency. The more you contribute to the world the more you＊ll be rewarded with personal success and recognition.
直到永远: 我一定会在大2之前找到自信，谢谢作者给我一个盖造我自己的机会...
恢复中的人: 我很喜欢这个网站，培养适度的自信，过和不及都是错误的
冰点: 这只是理论知识,我们只有在实践中慢慢体会,才能做到一个自信的...
佳: 我认为文章写的很好，上面的一些评论也很多都不错
我呢，...
小晖晖: 自2010年开始，我小晖晖将在以后的每时每刻都自信着！......
Yuki: 在杂志上看过另一篇关于如何建立自信的文章，那篇文章说，自新的...
wangami: 自信首先来自于个人内心的平衡，楼上的朋友也有提到有时超自信，...
Guest:2007-10-17 11:54 AM
我也希望变成自信的人.
追:2007-10-19 9:39 AM
支持，好东西大家一起分享，要努力哦！
guoguo:2007-10-19 15:16 PM
星期一是我的晨会，公司给我的主题是自信的建立，觉得这篇文章太好了，借用一下。实际上我先前是一个非常内向自卑的人，后来从事营销工作后变了很多，仔细看了一下上面的每一点基本上都能做到，这也使我在同龄人中能超越他人，不过人外有人，山外有山要一直不断的学习，提高自己，超越自己。我的座铭右是每天进步一点点。QQ278694437
小猪的逻辑:2007-10-20 14:23 PM
感觉像自我暗示
小cool:2007-10-22 11:55 AM
无错，不断超越就是精彩的人生～～～
searching:2007-10-22 21:32 PM
寻找自信中
Guest:2007-10-26 14:04 PM
不错
清瘦:2007-10-28 11:01 AM
自信就是豁出去,不去在意他人的评价,有时候又很难!!
Darrell:2007-10-28 18:07 PM
我想试一下!!!!!!
天使:2007-10-28 21:07 PM
但我总觉得想要自信还是很难哦！怎么说呢，比如说赞美人家，因为有些人根本就不这样，但你还要赞美她，那不是成为一种拍马屁了吗？还有当你在这里工作时性格就很内向了，一下子改变了，不是有一种那样，反正我总觉得很难做到，我很烦！我想问一下，重新换一个环境会不会好一点呢！希望看到我留言的朋友能给我一点宝贵的意见，谢谢！
冷:2007-10-28 22:09 PM
快要毕业了,心里面很需,平时自己也是个不自信的人,做人做事情都很低调都那种. 要让一个不自信的人那样去努力寻找自信本身就是一见很痛苦的事情, 会充满犹豫,徘徊恐惧.. 和那些不自信的人一样, 有时候很自信,感觉自己内心对自己的肯定很重要,多数的时候很绝望 心里感觉很需,什么事情也做不好..特苦恼
小凉:2007-10-29 13:17 PM
我会努力的，呵呵
snail:2007-10-31 20:59 PM
谢谢，醍醐灌顶
温柔慈悲:2007-11-01 13:41 PM
内心一直处于紧张状态其实也是不自信的一种表现,我也是一个很不自信的人,一直处于紧张生活状态中
苗条淑女:2007-11-02 11:05 AM
一般看咯这个我不会有什么想法的！！不过大家讨论的这样激烈我也来说两句．不自信的人可能是从小缺乏鼓励而造成的，或是自我要求太高而造成的．但是以上的这些方法引领不自信的我们去探索自信的心理世界是怎样的！！！当我们跨出那一步时，会对他们的做法有所了解．回了解到，如果自信了，做事就更有效率且针对性了！！人生就是一个不断探索与冒险的过程，没有探索哪来的收获啊？？所以，鼓励自己，鼓励大家试试！！！fiting !!
不自信的人:2007-11-06 13:14 PM
不错！这能多给哪么不自信的人一些鼓励，当然也是对我的鼓励！嘿嘿！
NEURONE:2007-11-06 16:30 PM
恩`
小乌龟:2007-11-10 16:40 PM
我现在为感情的事烦恼。你们说能逃出这劫呢，
心花怒放的怒:2007-11-12 11:26 AM
我不修边幅,从不大声说话,开会绝不坐第一排,图个自在,一直认为社会本质是竞争的,所以我不感恩,有人冒犯我,坚决回击.但是我也绝不看励志书籍,而且我从不虚伪的赞美他人. 但是我我尊重别人,尊重工作,也尊重自己.这才是唯一的给自己信心的办法. 上面这些通俗心理学大家还是少看点.
轻舞飞扬:2007-11-15 22:35 PM
我有时候很自信,有时候又不够自信,其实这都是缓于我的心理问题,判断事情及做事都从两个方面去,就看你以什么样的心态去面对而已(乐观或悲观),现在我也常常提醒自己要更自信,因为曾经有个男孩告诉我”自信的女人最美丽”,虽然我的外表也不错,但自信也要一起拥有才行.我老妈也常提醒我,做人要有自信,走路要挺胸抬头,而且面带笑容;或许你会说看到一个人就笑人家以为你是傻瓜;无所谓啊,随便别人怎么想嘛,难道你没听说过”伸手不打笑脸人”吗?学着点吧,对你有好处.一般情况下我都可以做到,除心情极坏时另外,不更,我还会加倍努力喔,争取做得更好!!!!!!!!!!!!!!祝我好运!!!!!
紫色樱桃:2007-11-15 22:50 PM
叫轻舞飞扬那个人好叼哦！！！＇＇＇
轻舞飞扬:2007-11-15 22:54 PM
紫色樱桃，他妈的，敢说我，不好意思，其实我很温柔的，一般我都不会说粗口话，只不过她这样说我，嘻嘻，我不在意．．．．．我很宽容，我知道她小女孩不懂事，我原谅她．．．．．．．．．．不过，我还是提醒她，说话要注意点，男孩都喜欢温柔的女孩．＂难怪男孩不敢喜欢她，呵．．．
假装开心:2007-11-16 16:06 PM
可能会有效果吧，不过是不是活着很累，为什么不能洒脱点呢。
在杂志上看过另一篇关于如何建立自信的文章，那篇文章说，自新的来源有二，一是成就，二是对自己正确的认识。这个观点更像是治本的。我觉得“自信”中若加入了做作的成分就不是真正自信。一个仅仅在表面上自信的人，不如一个不知为不知的人。至少在我看来，后者并不会给人以不自信的感觉。
ELEVEN:2007-11-26 21:31 PM
我每天的生活就是文章中写的那样，觉得很自信，每天都很开心！
祖儿:2007-11-27 19:40 PM
自信真的很难，我每次都好害怕别人的眼光！
BOBO:2007-12-08 1:28 AM
告诉自己不要害怕.最后还是不行.
墨箫:2007-12-09 4:26 AM
为什么会不自信?最本质的原因是有很都自认为很重要的事情却没有做到,所以在建立自信时还应该有自己的目标并且向着目标不断努力!自信最终还是应该建立在自己的所拥有的内涵上面,这样也才能最持久最真实,毕竟只有胸怀丘壑,才能驰骋乾坤!
爱恨两难:2007-12-10 11:36 AM
呵呵 ，看了大家的流言，我真是收益非浅啊。其实，我非常赞同作者的观点，句句属实啊。自信是可以培养的，其实自信像打牌，没有人知道你手里有什么牌，大家都在猜测对方，在双方都不知道对方情况的时候，都很害怕，进而，敬畏对方，这时，双方都该自信啊，有什么出什么嘛，反正自己的牌已经这样了，只有相信自己，有什么出什么。所以一个人要自信，是什么样就表现什么样，拼了，反正要自信就是了，我是这么认为的，谢谢
Guest:2007-12-14 6:43 AM
我觉得自己很自信了，因为 我很优秀，自信就是喜欢自己，喜欢别人，自信就是～～～～走自己的路，让别人说去吧
决定:2007-12-19 17:56 PM
每个人都发表了各自的意见，针对自信各有说法，我们把每一个人所说的观点总结在一起，就是提高自信的唯一方法，我认为我们比起那十点更全面，更有说服力，这才是我们每一个人所紧记的话题，不要把别人的眼光看成对自己的一种冷眼，换一个想法就是可能对方很看中你呢（女）或（男）这种眼光叫爱的眼神．
ysqing:2007-12-26 15:53 PM
我觉得很好的说..试试…
续:2008-01-19 0:22 AM
走自己的路;让别人说去吧,这句话谁都会说,但有几个人做到呢.
小伟:2008-01-22 23:35 PM
我也是一个很不自信的人，内向，不喜欢说话．一直很讨厌自己．上面有个朋友说＂自信最重要的是对自己的肯定＂．看来我这一点都做不到喽．不过还是很高兴，自己已经开始改变自己了，因为以前我只是潜水，不错，一个好的开始.
我:2008-01-28 13:31 PM
这个网确实不错，我收藏了
Guest:2008-02-17 13:40 PM
真的很好。收益很多
青蛙变王子:2008-02-18 16:31 PM
很好！
我顶！
可儿:2008-02-23 17:24 PM
哎！我也是个不自信的女孩，虽然，在身边的朋友也经常说我长得不错，我是个很内向，很注重外表的人．．我一点都自信不起来．．．．．
好想改
又觉得好难？
加油哦
南瓜:2008-03-09 17:42 PM
我相信没有 啥是 办不到的
我是谁:2008-03-23 11:11 AM
自信源于我懂得,自卑源于我心虚.
金牛座BB:2008-04-01 21:33 PM
好文章呀!对我自己好有用呀,谢谢你!
阿健:2008-04-07 14:28 PM
不错
婷:2008-04-08 11:22 AM
＾＾呵呵，看了大家的留言我也觉得收获好多，我是一个很不自信的女孩，真的好想改变自己哦！！真的好想……
火龙:2008-04-08 21:27 PM
在自信和自卑中徘徊……
溶化的冰:2008-04-21 9:35 AM
大家一起来加油吧 为了自己和自己所爱的人 努力 在努力
宇文千户:2008-04-22 22:22 PM
自信真重要，一个人什么都可以输，就是自信不能够输。自信影响着人的精神状态啊。要做到内心的自信还真是好难得。正所谓“腹有诗书气自华”
冷血女孩:2008-05-08 12:59 PM
我很喜欢哦。因为我是缺少这东西的人。为自己加油，所以来这看看。
欧志雄:2008-05-11 9:53 AM
上面说得还不错
我认为//////自信有了，还要有快了
小徐:2008-05-20 23:01 PM
我对自己做的事情总是有说顾虑，有时候明明是对的却还要检查半天，这样做事很耗时间，做事的效率也自然低了，也就是对自己不太信任，不自信，想来看看有什么解决的办法，现在看来也过了哦，这文章不错哦
Guest:2008-05-22 15:50 PM
建立自信的方法很多
要对自己要信心最重要的是要认识到自己的优势
我来说两句