by John Wesley
Self confidence is the difference between feeling unstoppable and feeling scared out of your wits. Your perception of yourself has an enormous impact on how others perceive you. Perception is reality 〞 the more self confidence you have, the more likely it is you＊ll succeed.
Although many of the factors affecting self confidence are beyond your control, there are a number of things you can consciously do to build self confidence. By using these 10 strategies you can get the mental edge you need to reach your potential.
1. Dress Sharp
Although clothes don＊t make the man, they certainly affect the way he feels about himself. No one is more conscious of your physical appearance than you are. When you don＊t look good, it changes the way you carry yourself and interact with other people. Use this to your advantage by taking care of your personal appearance. In most cases, significant improvements can be made by bathing and shaving frequently, wearing clean clothes, and being cognizant of the latest styles.
This doesn＊t mean you need to spend a lot on clothes. One great rule to follow is ※spend twice as much, buy half as much§. Rather than buying a bunch of cheap clothes, buy half as many select, high quality items. In long run this decreases spending because expensive clothes wear out less easily and stay in style longer than cheap clothes. Buying less also helps reduce the clutter in your closet.
2. Walk Faster
One of the easiest ways to tell how a person feels about herself is to examine her walk. Is it slow? tired? painful? Or is it energetic and purposeful? People with confidence walk quickly. They have places to go, people to see, and important work to do. Even if you aren＊t in a hurry, you can increase your self confidence by putting some pep in your step. Walking 25% faster will make to you look and feel more important.
3. Good Posture
Similarly, the way a person carries herself tells a story. People with slumped shoulders and lethargic movements display a lack of self confidence. They aren＊t enthusiastic about what they＊re doing and they don＊t consider themselves important. By practicing good posture, you＊ll automatically feel more confident. Stand up straight, keep your head up, and make eye contact. You＊ll make a positive impression on others and instantly feel more alert and empowered.
4. Personal Commercial
One of the best ways to build confidence is listening to a motivational speech. Unfortunately, opportunities to listen to a great speaker are few and far between. You can fill this need by creating a personal commercial. Write a 30-60 second speech that highlights your strengths and goals. Then recite it in front of the mirror aloud (or inside your head if you prefer) whenever you need a confidence boost.
5. Gratitude
When you focus too much on what you want, the mind creates reasons why you can＊t have it. This leads you to dwell on your weaknesses. The best way to avoid this is consciously focusing on gratitude. Set aside time each day to mentally list everything you have to be grateful for. Recall your past successes, unique skills, loving relationships, and positive momentum. You＊ll be amazed how much you have going for you and motivated to take that next step towards success.
6. Compliment other people
When we think negatively about ourselves, we often project that feeling on to others in the form of insults and gossip. To break this cycle of negativity, get in the habit of praising other people. Refuse to engage in backstabbing gossip and make an effort to compliment those around you. In the process, you＊ll become well liked and build self confidence. By looking for the best in others, you indirectly bring out the best in yourself.
7. Sit in the front row
In schools, offices, and public assemblies around the world, people constantly strive to sit at the back of the room. Most people prefer the back because they＊re afraid of being noticed. This reflects a lack of self confidence. By deciding to sit in the front row, you can get over this irrational fear and build your self confidence. You＊ll also be more visible to the important people talking from the front of the room.
8. Speak up
During group discussions many people never speak up because they＊re afraid that people will judge them for saying something stupid. This fear isn＊t really justified. Generally, people are much more accepting than we imagine. In fact most people are dealing with the exact same fears. By making an effort to speak up at least once in every group discussion, you＊ll become a better public speaker, more confident in your own thoughts, and recognized as a leader by your peers.
9. Work out
Along the same lines as personal appearance, physical fitness has a huge effect on self confidence. If you＊re out of shape, you＊ll feel insecure, unattractive, and less energetic. By working out, you improve your physcial appearance, energize yourself, and accomplish something positive. Having the discipline to work out not only makes you feel better, it creates positive momentum that you can build on the rest of the day.
10. Focus on contribution
Too often we get caught up in our own desires. We focus too much on ourselves and not enough on the needs of other people. If you stop thinking about yourself and concentrate on the contribution you＊re making to the rest of the world, you won＊t worry as much about you own flaws. This will increase self confidence and allow you to contribute with maximum efficiency. The more you contribute to the world the more you＊ll be rewarded with personal success and recognition.
Yuki: 在杂志上看过另一篇关于如何建立自信的文章，那篇文章说，自新的...
佳: 我认为文章写的很好，上面的一些评论也很多都不错
我呢，...
恢复中的人: 我很喜欢这个网站，培养适度的自信，过和不及都是错误的
冰点: 这只是理论知识,我们只有在实践中慢慢体会,才能做到一个自信的...
直到永远: 我一定会在大2之前找到自信，谢谢作者给我一个盖造我自己的机会...
小晖晖: 自2010年开始，我小晖晖将在以后的每时每刻都自信着！......
wangami: 自信首先来自于个人内心的平衡，楼上的朋友也有提到有时超自信，...
红色香囊:2007-08-05 11:33 AM
感觉有点要豁出去的样子啊~
清灵:2007-08-05 11:43 AM
不错呀，我对自己就很有自信，上面说的很符合嘛！~
人渣皮儿:2007-08-05 12:58 PM
写得好棒啊
Guest:2007-08-05 13:14 PM
是不是说的”无耻者无惧”哦…^O^
蓝儿:2007-08-05 13:29 PM
说得有理
yu:2007-08-05 15:58 PM
自信的人最美丽~~
alchemist:2007-08-05 16:52 PM
…中国人还是很内敛的…
怎么说,这样也有些夸张…社会大环境也要考虑啊…
GLZ0514:2007-08-05 17:03 PM
现在开始重建自信，哈哈
当一个人有自信的时候，即使是以前觉得困难的事也会迎刃而解，我觉得这是自信所能成就的精彩！
evechaung:2007-08-05 17:30 PM
我其实是个不太有自信的人，还要继续努力啊！
selene:2007-08-05 17:58 PM
同意部分观点。。。。
selene:2007-08-05 17:59 PM
感觉有点治标不治本
popfrog:2007-08-05 19:05 PM
支持,好的东西就一定要学习。
zouzou:2007-08-05 19:15 PM
自信最重要的还是要多学习，增强自我实力，底子足自然就有力度，另外内敛其实也是一种好性格，高调做事，低调做人。
joben:2007-08-05 19:59 PM
agree partly.
不是治标不治本，而是从行为着手，来改变难以触及的内心 ：）
Guest:2007-08-05 22:38 PM
我要自信
Troizn:2007-08-06 0:58 AM
试问孤僻的人怎么才能建立自信？
就这么简单？．．．
warmsnow:2007-08-06 4:42 AM
确实是治标不治本。我很想知道有谁通过这样的办法从不自信的人变成自信的人了。
本来就不够自信，结果拼命注意自己的表现反而更累倒是有可能的。那十条还是多少条的行为方式，是自信的人的表现。并不是说这样做就可以变成自信的人了。当然了，多少会起到一些自我鼓励的作用，让你知道很多事情不是那么可怕，但并不能从根本上改变不自信。自信是对自己价值的低估，不是对在大庭广众之下发言的恐惧。
Guest:2007-08-06 9:06 AM
确实是有些用处的~~值得学习~~
Guest:2007-08-06 10:36 AM
可惜我只是外表不自信，但我内心是相当自信与乐观的
LeaF:2007-08-06 12:50 PM
看上去挺有用的，我要试试看！
19楼的观点我不是很赞同，诚然，上述的这些表现是更多的体现在有自信的人身上，但是没有自信的人通过这些行为方式可以锻炼自己的勇气，通过这样的行为得到的结果是积极的，那他就会觉得“哎，其实我也可以啊“，这样，可以说在这一方面的自信她拾回了一些。像你说的太注重表现而更累，那是可能的，那就说明这个人没有对自己的能力做一个正确的评估，他对自己的预期太高，这样就并不是简单的不自信的表现了。我也是一个不自信的人，这些建议很不错，我会多尝试的。
烟灰灰:2007-08-06 15:24 PM
自信和不自信之间的距离只有一步只遥，就是超越自己！
所以，做一个勇于超越自己的人，而不是将自己划为自信，或者不自信的群体。
能够不断超越自己的人生，就是精彩人生！
自信到病态:2007-08-06 15:36 PM
可是我又太自信了，自信到自大了怎么办呢？
stone:2007-08-06 15:43 PM
是这样子的，建议大家了试一下了
monochrome:2007-08-06 16:38 PM
我走路一直很快的……
Lion:2007-08-06 16:53 PM
因为是我，所在自信！
Guest:2007-08-06 18:07 PM
我也不怎么赞同
kaka:2007-08-06 22:18 PM
上面说的似乎是目的地而非途径…不过试试该会有收获…
nofree:2007-08-06 23:17 PM
片面的自信，面对不同的人就是会有所不同，有时候超自信，有时候就是闷罐子。
好讨厌自己这样子
ladyson:2007-08-07 0:58 AM
每个人都是不一样的。这个也只大概提供一个方向而已。至于怎么做还是靠自己.
周周:2007-08-07 9:42 AM
试试总不为过
sweet:2007-08-07 16:30 PM
自信不能用只言片语就能找到的，不过也需要一定的引导。
pigeon:2007-08-07 20:30 PM
我也认为不是治标不治本。行为能够改变认知。
lalla:2007-08-07 22:34 PM
还行吧，我现在超没自信的说．
装傻的鱼:2007-08-07 23:00 PM
支持下！！
这个网站不错。。。
satcfj:2007-08-07 23:08 PM
自卑会引起强烈的自尊
自卑的心理每个人都会有的，因为自身的缺限也只有自己才最清楚，我们每天只盯着那一点点让自己不够满意的地方，就把它扩大化了，而事实上，可能在别人眼里，它根本不算什么，根本不会被人注意到。
我也常常很自卑，尤其是在最近，想要真正地走入人群中的时候，我去玫琳凯公司，我去游泳池，我坐在轮椅上去游泳，我也怕别人异样的目光，但是，我告诉自己，那又怎么样呢？不要害怕，如果别人看你，你就给他一个微笑好了，于是我微笑着走出家门。以后遇到什么事情，我还是会害怕的，但是我还是会像现在这样，一件一件地克服它。
有钱就有自信
lan:2007-08-08 15:39 PM
上面的我那就不对了,有钱的也有不开心,不自信啊,他们只不过比没钱的人更能伪装自己的心情罢了, 上面的文章看了总比不看要强了把
yanr:2007-08-08 19:43 PM
“无耻者无惧”
有同感
上面的评论大家都很认真，我从头到尾的都看了。因为我也是一个很不自信的人，不过我一直在努力。在上面我觉得有这么三句话很好
1.自卑会引起强烈的自尊（38楼）—–首先要说的是这不是一个好的状态。这个情况在我小的时候非常严重，回想起来有点后悔。假如你是这样的话，你会觉得你更不自信，同时你会很缺乏和人交往过程中的幽默感。
2.自信的人最美丽（6楼），深有感触。我喜欢一个女孩，她虽然没有超人的美丽，但是我很喜欢她，因为她是一个自信满满的人，看着她的时候她总会给人一种生活是多么美丽的感觉，我喜欢她的气质，喜欢她的魅力。虽然我现在由于一些原因还在暗恋她。真的我非常的喜好她
3.高调做事，低调做人。这是自信人应该，也必须的做事原则。因为也只有自信的人才可以做到恰当的低调做人—-这是非常难做到的！
看来以后不要总是座在最后一排了
淡雨漫思茶:2007-08-09 15:45 PM
自信源于内心，了解自己，正确的分析自己，知道自己的优缺点，综合客观，面对现实是自信的起点。至于极度自卑者，有钱了，猛男了，无耻者所谓的自信都是不堪一击。。
自信首先来自于个人内心的平衡，楼上的朋友也有提到有时超自信，有时又打蔫儿，如果不能客观看待自己，平衡心理，外表故作的自信会让旁观者感到可笑和厌恶。所以修炼内心更重要。这篇文章是很好的渠道，但不是最终的解决方式！
RUNAWAY:2007-08-10 9:53 AM
我最缺的就是自信…因为总觉得希望越大失望越大…不过上面有些还蛮符合的诶
eskimo:2007-08-11 23:04 PM
一直都习惯看别人在舞台上演出，渐渐发现其实自己才是主角。
总是小心翼翼包裹自己的生活，其实是缺乏对自我的信仰，或许是要有点豁出去的自信满满，才能绚出自己的真色彩。
趁早寂寞:2007-08-12 11:28 AM
真是很好的一篇文字啊！
我是做直销培训的，自信对于营销员来说，简直就是核心支柱！
好好地参考一下！
谢谢你
！
我来说两句