I don’t buy the romantic notion that my life has been somehow richer or more interesting because of all the times I screwed up; nor that the mistakes were “put” there to help me learn. I made them myself—through ignorance, fear, and a dumb wish to have everyone like me—and life and work would have been less stressful and more enjoyable (and certainly more successful) without them. So here are some of the things I wish I had learned long ago. I hope they may help a few of you avoid the mistakes that I made back then.
* Most of it doesn’t matter. So much of what I got excited about, anxious about, or wasted my time and energy on, turned out not to matter. There are only a few things that truly count for a happy life. I wish I had known to concentrate on those and ignore the rest.
* The greatest source of misery and hatred in this world is clinging to past hurts. Look at all the terrorists and militant groups that hark back to some event long gone, or base their justification for killing on claims of some supposed historical right to a bit of land, or redress for a wrong done hundreds of years ago.
* Waiting to do something until you can be sure of doing it exactly right means waiting for ever. One of the greatest advantages anyone can have is the willingness to make a fool of themselves publicly and often. There’s no better way to learn and develop. Heck, it’s fun too.
* Following the latest fashion, in work or in life, is spiritual and intellectual suicide. You can be a cheap imitation of the ideal of the moment; or you can be a unique individual. The choice is yours. Religion isn’t the opiate of the masses, fashion is.
* If people complain that you’re too fond of going your own way and aren’t fitting in, you must be on the right track. Who wants to live life as a herd animal? The guys in power don’t want you to fit in for your own sake; they want you to stop causing them problems and follow their orders. You can’t have the freedom to be yourself and meekly fit in at the same time.
* If you make your work your life, you’re making your life into hard work. Like most people, I confused myself by looking at people like artists and musicians whose life’s “work” fills their time. That isn’t work. It’s who they are. Unless you have some overwhelming passion that also happens to allow you to earn a living doing it, always remember that work should be a means to an end: living an enjoyable life. Spend as little time on the means as possible consistent with achieving the end. Only idiots live to work.
* The quickest and simplest way to wreck any relationship is to listen to gossip. The worst way to spend your time is spreading more. People who spread gossip are the plague-carriers of our day. Cockroaches are clean, kindly creatures in comparison.
* Trying to please other people is largely a futile activity. Everyone will be mad at you sometime. Most of the people you deal with will dislike, disparage, belittle, or ignore what you say or do most of the time. Besides, you can never really know what others do want, so a good deal of whatever you do in that regard will go to waste. Be comforted. Those who love you will probably love you regardless, and they are the ones whose opinions are worth caring about. The rest aren’t worth five minutes of thought between them.
* Every winner is destined to be a loser in due course. It’s great to be up on the winner’s podium. Just don’t imagine you can stay there for ever. Worst of all is being determined to do so, by any means available.
* You can rarely, if ever, please, placate, change, or mollify an asshole. The best thing you can do is stay away from every one you encounter. Being an asshole is a contagious disease. The more time you spend around one, the more likely you are to catch it and become one too.
* Everything takes twice as long as you plan for and produces results about half as good as you hoped. There’s no reason to be downhearted about this. Just allow for it and move on.
* People are oddly consistent. Liars usually tell lies. Cheaters cheat whenever it suits them. A person who confides in you has usually confided in several others first—but not got the response they wanted. A loyal friend will stay loyal under enormous amounts of thoughtless abuse.
* However hard you try, you can’t avoid being yourself. Who else could you be? You can act and pretend, but the person acting and pretending is still you. And if you won’t accept yourself—and do the best you can with what you have—who then has any obligation to accept you?
* When it comes to blatant lies, there are none more egregious than budget figures. Time spent agonizing over them is time wasted. Even if (miracle of miracles!) yours are honest and accurate, no one else will have been so foolish.
* The loudest noise in the world is the sound of people whining. Don’t add to it.
BOBO: "如果你将工作等同于生活，那么你将为工作而生活"
这个世界...
jumb627: “一个人能做的最大的冒险事情，就是乐意在公共场合经常暴露自己...
jieruiwen: 我找到了很多受用一生的东西，这是我一直关注着psytopic...
Augie: 沉溺于过去的痛苦是最大的痛苦来源
这句话很有感触啊
水杯:2007-07-26 20:52 PM
我想这些能做到的，真的很好，只是全部能做到的恐怕只有圣人或者是极为杰出的人吧。
我想我没有办法都做到，但是尝试一样样去努力。
希望所有的人都能活得这般自在。
红:2007-07-26 21:31 PM
说得真得很好啊，我也正在努力这么做着。
人就是这样，不过百年，却有着如此多的烦恼忧愁，太在乎别人的看法，什么是对，什么是错，本来就没有大是大非，争执带不来快乐，钱权名利，想要得太多，得到的太少，小小的沙粒也如同磨盘一般背在身上，放下吧！安静的心灵才是最宝贵的！
ballcool:2007-07-26 21:46 PM
如果有人抱怨你太特立独行，恭喜你，你正走在正确的路上
很喜欢这句话~
沉溺于过去的痛苦是最大的痛苦来源
这句话很有感触啊
failsky:2007-07-26 22:57 PM
很多事情其实无关紧要的 那究竟什么事才是关乎幸福的呢?
“一个人能做的最大的冒险事情，就是乐意在公共场合经常暴露自己的愚昧。”
真是句过来人的至理名言，我正在有这种体会，谢谢能看到这篇文章
jumb627:2007-07-26 23:46 PM
不过试图取悦别人是一种徒劳可不一定对哦，学心理学就是要尽量去明白人的需要，明白了之后才能去充分的理解他人。
joy:2007-07-27 0:32 AM
是啊，很有道理
badmilk:2007-07-27 0:51 AM
如果有人抱怨你太特立独行，恭喜你，你正走在正确的路上
如果你将工作等同于生活，那么你将为工作而生活
这两条我都做得不错，哈哈~~~~
coffee:2007-07-27 7:42 AM
趁着年轻，多暴露些自己的缺点，就能学到更多。做一个经常胜利的胜利者
黑洞:2007-07-27 8:32 AM
经历痛苦，才会成长
周周:2007-07-27 9:05 AM
每一条都很有道理，但是每一条做起来都很难，尤其当某些东西已经成为习惯。
不过试着努力总没有错。
Lion:2007-07-27 9:18 AM
沉溺于过去的痛苦是最大的痛苦来源
浅吟低唱:2007-07-27 9:24 AM
有些道理即使明白却也还是很难做到，唯有亲身体会后方才领悟。希望自己能早日参透。
tracy:2007-07-27 11:33 AM
不错，但是和我们从小被灌输的思想不一样，所以在这样的社会环境中做到上面的还是很难的。
sheepsue:2007-07-27 13:07 PM
每个年龄层都有他们想要了解，等待了解的事物，顺应自然规律。有些道理若是早知道，就失去这个年龄层应有的特性。
老气横秋，是否是这样来的？
jkfh:2007-07-27 17:27 PM
这段时间以来，得到了多少指点，失去过多少时间，徘徊过多少机会。数不清，记不得，刻意是好事，还是坏事，追求为什么总是来得那么的晚。。。
good:2007-07-27 17:42 PM
差不多都知道
也就是自在会有所谓低潮高潮迷惑和幸福等这生活吧
知道 还有做到….. 活在这个世界，部分是主观的，可也都还是源自客观哦！
夏安！
我找到了很多受用一生的东西，这是我一直关注着psytopic的理由
君君:2007-07-27 19:35 PM
英文的再看一遍呵呵
Guest:2007-07-27 20:22 PM
很幸运在正为某些事烦恼的时候看到这篇文章.
urey:2007-07-27 22:12 PM
年岁越长,越觉得这条生命不完全属于自己.总是陷在各种各样的关系网里.想超脱,想飞.可就像被栓住的风筝,蛛网上的小昆虫,最终还是就那样了
有时候想想很无奈,道理都懂,看的也多,但是理想和现实可能真的永远不能在一条线上.
“如果你将工作等同于生活，那么你将为工作而生活”
这个世界已经有很多人成为工作的奴隶了
angel:2007-07-28 8:05 AM
最近着为一个小人而烦恼，看了这篇文章，觉得真不应该去在意他的言行，关注爱护自己的人吧，忽略那些不值得我们关注的人。。
狼宇:2007-07-28 9:22 AM
既然这么多朋友都对这篇文章产生了共鸣,那么本文在开头部分所面书的现象会不会是一种普遍现象呢?当然,更重要的是在这现象背后所隐藏的公众心理啊.
Mr.G:2007-07-28 9:34 AM
为我指明方向了
九翼青鸟:2007-07-28 11:05 AM
好文章，推荐个！
Liger:2007-07-28 12:55 PM
还不错!
枫子:2007-07-28 14:10 PM
“生活才是目的！”说的很好，虽然努力工作是为了更好的生活，但是不要让工作填满生活。确实很有道理！
.Sarah_:2007-07-28 14:11 PM
讲到心坎里去了！
这才是最原汁原味而且最幸福的生活！~
nakwan:2007-07-28 15:39 PM
即使知道,而往往客观会让感受到不明之前同样的感受.
好文..支持个..~
silent:2007-07-28 15:41 PM
也只有自己经历过后才能更深地明白这些道理，
Gothic-Dark:2007-07-28 23:31 PM
其实呢，每个人都有“一些年轻时候的假如”，这是我们成长的代价，诚然有些代价昂贵的需要用一生去填补。可这就是人生，这才是人生，我想我们应该学会不去后悔。
pisces:2007-07-29 10:37 AM
知道和做是两回事。道理基本上我都懂，但是很少能做到。
Ruige:2007-07-29 14:16 PM
知易行难！！
自行车:2007-07-30 10:02 AM
人们说生活就是：人生下来就得干活。
看了这个
我想人不是生下来就得干活
而是人生下来就是为了享受生活……
abeary:2007-07-30 10:15 AM
句句箴言
转给更多的人看~~
谢谢Angela~
其实，就是在告诉你：请在人的一生有限的时间里，活出你自己。
叶也:2007-07-30 10:35 AM
人真的只有在失去以后才知道后悔
Oo可可怪oO:2007-07-30 10:58 AM
要做到特立独行~~~加油哈~~~可可怪
winne:2007-07-30 15:36 PM
如果有人抱怨你太特立独行，恭喜你，你正走在正确的路上
说的太对了~
右石:2007-07-30 22:28 PM
“很多事情其实无关紧要：沉溺于过去的痛苦是最大的痛苦来源；努力加倍，期望减半”真的是对每个人很重要的忠告
fox_xu:2007-07-30 23:58 PM
现在知道这些还不晚。。。。。。恩
时间会把一切都埋没:2007-07-31 13:02 PM
谁都会爱过,恨过,痛过,到最后,该留的留了,该走的始终会走
babyfish:2007-07-31 20:28 PM
前六条不错.正在做.
芒果的季节…:2007-07-31 20:50 PM
看了这篇文章明白了一些平时想不通的道理.. 感谢
棠棠:2007-08-01 20:25 PM
呵呵
我还没有办法 都做到
不过 我会努力 坚持做好 呵呵
Guest:2007-08-01 20:40 PM
这样的东西，往往具有误导性！什么道理什么真谛，还是靠个人来体会吧！偏见导致偏信。如果我们还要以这样的“道理”来开导自己，真的，这说明我们的独立思考能力还不够。
我来说两句